Luff

I have recently become re-obsessed with Annie Hall. I love Diane Keaton in it; how squirrely and uncertain she is in the beginning but how at the same time she knows exactly what she wants and goes for it albeit rather bashfully. I love watching her confidence and awareness evolve and develop throughout the film--not in a gradual, linear way but through the timely flashbacks and storytelling of Woody Allen. Comparing her first time singing in a night club to the last shown exudes such beauty and confidence it's hard not to want that sort of unmistakable aura for oneself.

It makes me think of formative relationships I've had; the beginnings, middles and ends of them. I can't help but analyze my past and see where I'm at now in relation to only five years ago and ask myself if I'm where I want to be. I guess I don't really know how to answer that question though because where I am was never where I had anticipated I'd be. BUT I like where I am and I'm working on getting to loving where I am.

I finished reading Brave New World a couple weeks ago and I really enjoyed it. There was a character in it, Bernard, who had all of this potential to be great, take action, be an individual; but, when the moment demanded it he kept faltering back and forth between what he knew he wanted and what he knew was expected. In the end he really didn't do anything and I ended up really despising him I think because I see those traits in myself. I hope I really strive for what I know I want and what I know will make me happy rather than bowing down to the pressures of what I think others may be thinking/expecting. It's hard. I think everyone struggles with it to an extent.

Anyway.

I love Annie Hall. I want some lobster, her whole wardrobe, and black soap.